


Almost is the saddest word

by YuMe89



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Abduction, Angst, Canon Compliant, Deputy Derek Hale, M/M, Minor Character Death, Near Death Experiences, Panic Attacks, Pre-Slash, Scott McCall is a Bad Friend, because i love it, but you won't cry about it promise, if there are tags missing tell me, kinda gore-y?, mentions of bloodshed, obviously, pretty sure it's crack at one part in the story xD, until it's not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:28:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24756304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuMe89/pseuds/YuMe89
Summary: -As he looked at the screen to see how much was left, his heart began to pound wildly again. "I only got twenty-six percent left.", he voiced out loud."Next time we talk, we'll do it in person.", Derek answered, voice tight, but so sure. Then the line went dead, he had disconnected the call. It was eerily silent all of a sudden and Stiles needed to do something before he let the screen go black again.'Hey dad!If this is the last message you get from me, just know that you're the most awesomest dad ever and I love you. I'm sorry I haven't been the best son in years',as he typed it out he stared at the text and deleted it again.'Just wanted to let you know, that I love you, dad. Hope your Conference is as awesome as you.',Stiles hit send and then closed the app, turned his screen off and put his phone in his jeans pocket.As he covered his face with his hands, he tried to desperately remember what had happenend between visiting Melissa, going to the bookshop and ending up here.-
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 31
Kudos: 438





	Almost is the saddest word

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyy!  
> So, I was at my parents house, until yesterday evening.  
> Two days, maybe three were planned, but it got extended to a whole week.  
> It was nice, but also very exhausting and I didn't have my laptop at hand T-T being an introvert in an extrovert family is hard  
> I've written this the night before I went to them and just finished editing/proof reading, though I think I probably overlooked words...
> 
> Anyway, the reason for writing this, was the scene in which Stiles said he's afraid of being blind.  
> I remember seeing a gif about that and then this story kind of snuck up on me. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

  
Opening his eyes didn't change the fact that he couldn't see anything and for a moment he was convinced he'd gone blind. The overwhelming feeling of a oncoming panic attack swept over him and he tried to inhale evenly. He had closed his eyes against the pitch black darkness before him until his brain made him see stars.

_You're not dead._ In. Out. _Yet._

_There is a chance you can get home again_. In. Out. _If you're lucky._

_You're not blind._ In. Out. _Hopefully._

Stiles started to feel around himself, in a way to determine where he was and to find something to occupy his mind. Which was currently set on freaking himself out.

He realized he was lying down in a small wooden space. It smelled earthy.

"Oh God, oh no, please no!" he called out, voice scratchy like he had screamed for hours before waking. Someone had put him in the ground, a makeshift coffin made up from cheap wood, banging against the top had only given him splinters and a sprinkling rain of dirt right into his face.

He coughed violently, discovering that the coffin was too low and narrow to lie on his side or bring his knees up. Stiles was about to panic again, but he started to pat down his body, feeling for injuries or anything to help his situation.

Surprisingly, he found his phone and barked out a happy laugh, euphoria making its way through his whole body. "Yes! I'm not going to die, thank god." he said, feeling tears of happiness sliding down into his hair, tickling the tips of his ears and burning at one part of his scalp. He probably had a head wound.

He unlocked the screen, his phone still had forty-one percent battery left, that should do. He also had a signal.

_So maybe I'm not somewhere in bumfuck nowhere without civilization._ It was a decent signal too.

As Stiles went through his contacts he tapped on Scott's name and heard it trying to connect. It rang and rang and rang. Stiles stomach dropped out. _What if he won't take the call?_ It had happened numerous times already. This time didn't seem to be any different.

Then the ringing stopped. Someone on the other end had declined. Stiles tried again and went straight to voicemail. "NO! No, nononono, please don't do this to me, Scott. Please answer your phone! Call me back! I'm in troub-" he reached his limit to say anything and it beeped. The screen of his phone turned black, but Stiles remained staring at it, although he didn't see anything.

_What if they got him too?_ A voice nagging at the back of his head asked him and that, that left his insides feeling like lead. _No, he's an alpha, he wouldn't be caught by whoever got me._

When he tried to call his dad, he didn't pick up either, but that wasn't surprising, since he was at a Conference in Oregon. They probably made them lock their phones up. Parrish was with him, so he wouldn't even try him either.

Lydia was no help at MIT and even if he reached her, she wouldn't be any more able to get a hold of anyone to rescue Stiles. Chris was visiting Isaac in France. _Fuck! That was just his luck._

He was going to die here. _Why? This is not fair!_ He had been home for spring break, meeting up with Melissa, talking to Malia until Scott would be home. The last thing Stiles remembered was swinging by the bookshop and then- darkness.

Stiles looked again at his phone, contact list still open. He wouldn't call Melissa, he didn't want her to get into danger. She had been all too happy to tell him, that everything had finally settled in Beacon Hills.

He stared at the name, thumb hovering over it, not quite daring to call. It had been weird between them. Like they were waiting for something to happen, but neither knew what exactly. After Stiles had rescued Derek from the FBI, although Derek was the one carrying him out, there was a strange shift between them. When Derek had held him bridal style, it was the first time ever that they had touched in a non-threatening way. And something had clicked inside his chest, something he had ignored for a while, first with Lydia, then with nameless College students in his year.

Derek hadn't reached out to him either, so Stiles figured he shouldn't address it at all, it would only complicate things. _Though, there's not much left to complicate._ They don't talk, they don't meet up. Stiles hears _about_ Derek from his dad or Scott.

Stiles pressed call and waited. Hopefully the number was still correct.

"Hello?" a gruff voice answered and Stiles almost sobbed in relief. _**Almost.**_

"Derek? Please tell me it's your growly Sourwolf voice on the other end I'm hearing." Stiles mustered up a lightness he hadn't known was possible. But then again, how was he to break it to Derek, that he was currently buried six feet under, alive.

"What do you want, Stiles? I was on my way out, make it quick." Derek sounded so dismissive and Stiles actually sobbed then. He felt so helpless and frightened.

"I need your help," he brought out between hiccupping breaths. "Someone buried me alive."

"Is that a joke? It's not funny. Why would anyone bury you with your phone?" Derek replied, he sounded so annoyed. Stiles couldn't even be angry at Derek for thinking he'd play a prank on him.

"I don't know! Maybe they thought no one would come for me either way." _And it looks like they would be right_. God, that hurt the most, not even the fact he would die, if no one would find him. "Please Derek, this is not a joke, someone buried me," he tried again, then he whispered:" _I don't want to die like this._ "

Stiles heard something fall to the ground on the other end, maybe keys, going by the metallic sound. Then a whoosh, like fabric and the maybe, possibly keys rattled as Derek picked them up.

It was quiet for a long time and Stiles was about to panic again, his breaths were coming in shorter and he didn't hear anything beyond that. Had Derek disconnected the call? He was too afraid to look for confirmation.

"Stiles! Don't pass out with your phone on, you need to save your battery, otherwise we won't be able to ping your location." it sounded like Derek had tried to get his attention for a while now. He hadn't even heard him say anything.

"Okay." Stiles said, to assure Derek that he had heard him now.

"We need to end the call, I'm driving over to the Sheriff's Station and triangulate your phones location. I'll find you." Derek promised, his voice was way softer than before. Last year, Derek had given in to Stiles dads nagging and joined the Police force. He had always said it would be better to have more people in the know, than just himself and Parrish. This was probably the best coincidence ever, because Danny wasn't in town anymore and reaching out to him could take longer than Stiles phone would be able to last.

As he looked at the screen to see how much was left, his heart began to pound wildly again. "I only got twenty-six percent left." he voiced out loud.

"Next time we talk, we'll do it in person." Derek answered, voice tight, but so sure. Then the line went dead, he had disconnected the call. It was eerily silent all of a sudden and Stiles needed to do something before he let the screen go black again.

_'Hey dad!  
If this is the last message you get from me, just know that you're the most awesomest dad ever and I love you. I'm sorry I haven't been the best son in years',_ as he typed it out he stared at the text and deleted it again.

_'Just wanted to let you know, that I love you, dad. Hope your Conference is as awesome as you.',_ Stiles hit send and then closed the app, turned his screen off and put his phone in his jeans pocket.  
As he covered his face with his hands, he tried to desperately remember what had happened between visiting Melissa, going to the bookshop and ending up here.

The pounding of his head was a hint and if someone had done that, he wouldn't have been able to see the attacker. Of course Stiles knew enough people who weren't happy with his existence, but the really dangerous ones were dead or far away from Beacon Hills.

He wondered how much air he had left. Instead of guessing and agitating himself, he concentrated on tapping his fingertips, counting them.

_One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten._

Not a dream. Not a nightmare like hundreds before, that the Nogitsune forced him into. There had been lockers he had been in, but always breaking free in the end. Although it had him landed mostly in their creepy High School.

Scott hadn't called back or send him a message, so maybe he really was trapped somewhere nearby. But wouldn't he be able to dig his way out? _Unless there's Wolfsbane._

Stiles hoped Scott was okay and Derek would save them from whoever had done this to him.

His jeans pocket vibrated with a message and he opened his eyes, realizing he had fallen asleep while praying for his best friends safety. It had something soothing, like a mantra.

When he accomplished to fish his phone out of his pocket, the first thing he did was check the digits on top. _Ten percent, damnit._ Then he swiped his thump over the screen to unlock it.

There was a message from Derek. _'We're on our way',_ though Stiles had no idea who he meant with 'we', he simply couldn't care less. Back up was always a good idea. And since he didn't know who his angel of death was, it made sense to not get here alone.

It was getting harder to breathe, oxygen obviously running out. Or maybe it was carbon dioxide overtaking the coffin, it didn't matter anyway, he would probably pass out soon.

If he remembered right, it had been an hour since he woke up. God, he was so fucking tired, he just wanted to sleep. And the sad part about it was: he knew that was a side effect from inhaling too much carbon dioxide, his own no less. He would get tired and go to sleep and then he would suffocate without even noticing.

_'Hurry',_ he wrote back, the light from his screen was too bright, so he turned it off again. It vibrated in his hands.

_'Almost there'_

Almost...wasn't there poetry about that word? Stiles remembered reading it one night and thinking about how fitting that poem was. Nikita Gill really knew how to pinpoint sadness in just a few words.

_"The saddest word  
in the whole wide world  
is the word **almost.**_

_He was almost in love.  
She was almost good for him.  
He almost stopped her.  
She almost waited.  
He almost lived.  
They **almost** made it."_

While reciting it in his head, he contemplated sending it to Derek, but before he could do anything, he lost the fight against his eyelids. They were just too heavy to keep up.

There was dirt falling down on his face and he distantly heard someone scream his name, like he was underwater, but he couldn't bring himself to really wake up. His breathing had become sluggish. _So, this is dying? It's not so bad._

"Stiles! Say something you fucking idiot!" he heard and frowned, then someone ripped the top of his coffin off, accompanied by the loudest roar he had ever heard and Stiles could see light behind his eyelids. Now that he could breathe a little easier, he opened his eyes.

Blinking several times and bringing up his hands to get the dirt off of his face, he looked up and saw Derek above him. Top half of his body completely covered in sand, leaves, dirt and grass. He looked like he had dug Stiles out with his bare hands.

And he probably had. His face though...God, he looked so afraid. "Hey Derek." Stiles mumbled and that set the Werewolf off into motion. He crouched down, grabbed Stiles by the front of his shirt and heaved him up and out of his, well, grave. It was chilling how easily he had accepted that place as his final stop. As _his._

He was lying on his back, soft grass and leaves underneath him and he stared up into the blue sky that was slightly hidden by tree crowns. Figures, he was somewhere in the Preserve. It smelled like copper and when he turned his head to the right, he saw Peter, drenched in blood. Figures too.

The fact he was not even surprised anymore...

"What is he doing here?" Stiles asked, voice raspy as he watched Peter Hale grin in the most feral way he ever had.

"Needed to take care of something." the creepy guy said and looked at something on Stiles left, so he turned his head, still feeling so damn dizzy and saw Kate Argents head a few feet away from him, her body a good distance from it too.

"Cool." he commented, because what else was he supposed to say to that? There was one problem gone in this world. At least they didn't have to look over their shoulders anymore for that crazy bitch. "Where's Scott?" he asked, slowly sitting up and he caught Derek and Peter exchange a look.

"He's fine." Derek answered, hands on Stiles back and shoulder to steady him. Stiles looked at his stony expression, that still had this vulnerable edge to it. Derek was such a complicated dude.

They locked eyes. "Are you telling me..." _that my best friend deliberately ignored my call and didn't even listen to his voicemail. Again._

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so gruff with you earlier," Derek said, breaking their eye contact to look at his head wound, than at his throat. "She choked you." he sounded and looked equally pissed off.

"It's okay, Derek. You got me out, I'm alive, she isn't. Hopefully she stays dead this time," Stiles said, hand coming up to swat at all the earth on Derek's shirt, it was a fruitless effort. "You look like an unhappy mole." he commented, reaching up and plucking a wayward leave from Derek's Disney Prince hair. Stiles couldn't believe it wasn't in a state of disarray. He had to ask Derek later what products he used to accomplish this look. Knowing the perfect fucker, he probably just uses a comb and water.

"As touching as your reunion is, I'm still here and reek of Argent, I want a shower," Peter demanded. "If you two lovebirds could just go over there, then I can put her in the grave, where she belongs and we can be on our way. Sound nice? I bet, it's my plan."

"Shut up, Peter," Derek countered, but got to his feet, picking Stiles off the forest floor with ease in the process. "It was your idea to rip her apart like that, deal with the consequences."

"I didn't hear you complain, when I detached her head from her body." Peter snarked back, a snarl on his face as he threw Kate's head into the grave next to them. Stiles tried to blend the wet thud out that followed her impact.

Derek huffed and steered Stiles away, probably towards his car. "I was a little pre-occupied with digging. There was no time to tell you to capture her." he answered.

"But are you sad she's gone, Derek?" Peter taunted kicking Kate's body violently towards the hole in the ground. He looked at his nephew and they exchanged a look, again. "Thought so."

"Is it normal that I think this looks funny to me, or am I just getting too used to seeing creepy shit like this?" Stiles asked, more rhetorical than anything else, suppressing a grin.

"You're getting too used to it." Peter and Derek said unison in a flat tone. Well, shit, if both of them agree, it has to be bad.

"I seriously need a break from all this...stuff. I actually thought it was quiet here now, Melissa said so this morning. Man, is she going to be disappointed when I tell her." Stiles said looking at his fingers and trying to pluck the splinters out. "Are you taking me to the hospital? She's on shift now, so we won't even have to explain."

"You rambling is probably a good sign of health. And yeah, I know, Peter talked to her on the phone, so she's expecting us already." Derek responded, giving Peter another _look_ after he had said something too silent for Stiles human hearing.

[*]"What did he say?" he wanted to know and although he was able to walk on his own, he absolutely milked their physical contact by holding onto Derek's arm anyway.

"Nothing important." the Werewolf answered and suddenly Peter hummed the Wedding March loud enough for Stiles to hear. He felt his face grow hot. Oh, awkward.

They made it to the car without talking, which was a huge accomplishment for Stiles. As they drove away, Stiles could see smoke coming up between the trees. Nice of Peter to wait for Derek to be far away enough. Not that that wouldn't be a bad reminder for Peter himself.

God, they were all so fucking messed up.

"Do you remember anything she did?" Derek asked, hands grabbing tight on his steering wheel.

"No. I didn't even see her. Last thing I know is walking up to the bookshop. And then I woke up in the coffin. I thought I was blind, it was so dark." He watched Derek relax, his hands easing up a bit. "Did she...say anything to you?"

"You know Kate, she likes to taunt everyone. She bragged about knocking you out." his face was doing his scowly bitch routine and he stared straight ahead. Stiles was a bit concerned about the steering wheel again. That thing was very important and can't get too fucked up before they reach their destination.

"Okay."

It was silent again, as they made it to the hospital parking lot. Derek cut off the engine and got out first. He walked around the car and opened the door for Stiles, which baffled him too much to say anything about it.

When they got to Melissa, she ushered them into an unoccupied room and made him sit down to be examined. "Jesus Christ, kid." was all she could say at the moment, as she patted him down and took in the various injuries. They were probably minor ones, Stiles didn't hurt too much.

"Derek got me out in the very last minute I guess, I couldn't breathe anymore," he told her, just so she knew, Stiles wasn't sure if it was important knowledge. Better safe, than sorry. That made her bust around and then hook him up on oxygen. His: "But I think it's fine now." was consequently ignored.

Derek just sat there, out of the way and watched Melissa work. "Don't you need to get Peter?" Stiles asked, flinching as Melissa prodded his head wound with antiseptic.

"He can walk." was the growled answer. Stiles could see why, he wouldn't want her blood on his seats either. And Peter probably smelled like burned flesh now too. Double yikes.

When Melissa was done, she told him to lie down. "But I was lying down the last two hours! I'm feeling better already."

"Lie down and don't even try to walk around." she said in her authoritative mom voice, which had Stiles instantly lie back down into the soft cushions. Okay, so that was definitely an improvement, he wasn't going to lie.

Melissa was almost at the door, when she came back and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I'm glad you're okay, Stiles." And then she was out the door.

"Whew, that got heavy real quick."

"Shut up."

As Stiles looked over to Derek, he huffed a laugh. "Now you're a morosely looking mole. The Morose Mole Derek. Can't you be happy? The forces of evil got smashed and the pretty princess was saved. Happily ever after," he grimaced. "I just realized that made me the pretty princess. Maybe that head wound is worse than thought."

"You'll be fine." curt as always, but this time with just a slight hint of a smile.

"Thank you for digging me up," Stiles said, fidgeting with the comforter. "And I'm not mad at you for being unfriendly on the phone. We haven't really interacted, so I think it was a given for you to be irritated by my call."

"You ignored me. And it pissed me off, that you called on the one day I had a date. It took me a lot of therapy to get that far and it was just a damn coffee, but...I didn't even tell her I wasn't going to come. All I could think of was you. I probably should call her." Derek confessed, looking even more uneasy than before.

"Yeah, you should. Call her I mean. Reschedule. But you should know I didn't ignore you. I just didn't know how to talk to you." Stiles gulped, he didn't feel good pushing Derek towards someone else, even though he didn't even know what he really wanted. Did he want to be Derek's friend? Lover? _Boy_ friend? Hell, he didn't know if Derek even swung that way.

"Let's be real, I'm not going to reschedule." the Werewolf looked down at his hands, still covered in dirt. "I could hear your heartbeat," he said, eyes brighter than before. "Stiles, it was so slow, I thought if I wouldn't be fast enough, it would just stop." Derek looked him right in the eyes. "That thought scared me more than anything."

Stiles was aware that those words meant more than an outsider would think. He held his hand out to take Derek's. "I am alive, thanks to you. Again."

This was, of course, the scene Scott and Melissa came in on. "What's going on?" Scott asked, while Melissa couldn't hide her knowing grin fast enough to let it go unnoticed.

"I nearly died. Derek saved me. Didn't you get my call? Hear the voicemail?" Stiles summarized shortly, still holding Derek's hand. Like hell he was letting that go!

Scott's mom looked puzzled at that. "He called you? You said you didn't know what happened."

"I didn't! I was with Malia, when he called and then I forgot to check the voicemail. I'm sorry!" his best friend said. Like it made anything better.

A bitter laugh escaped Stiles throat. It still sounded raspy. "You were the first person I called and you're the last to arrive. Typical."

"I don't see your dad anywhere." Scott bit back, obviously he knew he had been a shit friend, but he won't admit to it. When had he ever?

"My dad's in Oregon, asshole! And he doesn't even know about it. Why should I concern him, when he can't come here anyways?" it just broke out of him, he felt like he was going to throw up. If Derek had changed his phone number, Stiles would've been dead. He would've been dead, because Scott thought getting laid was more important than a call from his best friend. "You declined my call and didn't listen to the voicemail. I might be alive, but it's no thanks to you."

"It would've ruined the mood, you're her ex."

Melissa looked at her son like she saw him for the first time. It said a lot, that she didn't reprimand Stiles for the swearword he used. Maybe she even thought the same right now.

"Is this your way of payback for me dragging you into the woods, four fucking years ago? I wish I could go back in time and just stay home that night! I hate myself for making you come with me. I know it's my fault, but seriously? Do you have any idea how it feels to die? I got plenty knowledge on that. Drowning, freezing, suffocating. Is that the price I need to pay to be your friend? Because I don't want to pay like that anymore. Or at all."

"You don't want to be my friend anymore? That's rich. Last time you were begging me, when you had killed Donovan." Scott replied, jaw working angry, though he had no right.

Suddenly he felt a change to Derek's hand and looked over. He was wolfed out and growling. Stiles turned back to Scott. "Get out. Leave. I don't want you here." He might be unbelievably angry at Scott, his supposedly best friend, who ditched him again for pussy, but he was not going to let Derek fight with him. He was afraid Derek would get seriously hurt, but he looked livid enough to win. "I don't want you anywhere near me. You know I didn't kill him, it was an accident, that still gives me nightmares. He wanted to eat me!"

And Stiles didn't know if he was in his right mind to even think about Derek and Scott fighting and who he wanted to win. _Derek, always Derek_. He had such a bad reputation when it came to fights, just once, he should win. Stiles dilemma was just that he also didn't want Scott to get hurt, no matter how much of a dick he was.

He watched Scott leave the room reluctantly and Derek changed back in a single exhale.

"I'm sorry, honey, I didn't know, when I called him." Melissa said, she looked like she couldn't believe what her own son had done. She let her hand rest on his ankle, squeezed it just for a second, like she wanted to reassure herself that he really was here, even though Scott was not a part of that whole process.

Maybe she was even afraid he would hate her too, for Scott's actions, or lack thereof. Her expression spoke volumes. "It's okay. You couldn't have known." he said, his emotions finally catching up with him, he managed a wobbly smile. Whatever will happen between Scott and himself, she would always have the same place in his heart. She was his second mom, after all, in a way.

All he wanted to do right now was curl up into a ball and cry for a solid hour or two, but he swallowed that desire down and made a brave face, like always. He would get through this without a supervised mental breakdown. So what? His best friend didn't really care about his well being. It shouldn't be news to him by now. Though, he also wasn't his best friend anymore as it seemed. He felt bad at how right it felt to let him go.

It was silent for a while, when Melissa left the room again. She was probably mentally preparing for a rant in which Scott would be on the receiving end. Derek squeezed his hand lightly to get his attention. "Are you okay?"

"I will be. You should go and take a shower, they will probably let me go home in an hour or so. You don't have to sit here." Stiles responded.

"How will you get home?" the Werewolf asked, looking him intently in the eyes, like he could change Stiles opinion with those damned jewel colored ones. Okay, he probably could.

"Uh. Didn't think of that." Stiles frowned, thinking about his possibilities. There weren't many. "You could come back and drive me home?" he tried in a shy voice.

"Or I could ask them if it's okay to take you home now."

"Uh, yeah, you could do that too."

They stared at each other for a moment and then Derek left the room. He was going to be okay. He was definitely going to have endless nightmares of darkness and being buried, and probably of Kate Argent's detached head lying only a few feet away from him, but Derek and him were talking again and if he interpreted his expression and words correctly, they could be something.

Something good. Fuck _almost._ This was going to happen.

**Author's Note:**

> [*]Peter said:"You sure do enjoy playing the hero for our token human, nephew. No wonder Kate used him as bait to get to you." in a very smug voice.[return to text]
> 
> _  
> Fun fact: If you get buried alive, you got oxygen for like 1 1/2 to 2 hours, but it also depends on how big that thing is.  
> Killing off Stiles phones battery so quickly was mean, I know, but let's be honest, smartphones tend to run out of it too soon when you actually need it to last xD  
> Had that experience on the train ride back home. It was fucking boring without music...
> 
> So...what do you think?  
> Too much angst? xD
> 
> You can now interact with me on [tumblr!](https://yumelilo.tumblr.com/) ^^  
> Edit: you can now find art for this fic on my tumblr blog too! 🤗


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